I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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