can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
