yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
