Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Sober January is a disaster.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
