But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
