Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I can't put those talents on a resume
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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