He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
