It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Its about making memories worth repressing
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
