If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
