Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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