I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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