is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
