you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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