In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize