Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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