Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
