Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize