I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
