I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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