You smell like stripper and shame
high people should be assigned attendants
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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