i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
