I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
