Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
