the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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