Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
