You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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