I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
