Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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