I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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