she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
