I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
