me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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