Whod you bang
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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