This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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