you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
