and she was petting her beer can
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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