I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
