It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
