she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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