i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
