the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
