After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
