The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
