I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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