have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
