I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
