guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
