Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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