i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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