he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
