So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize