i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
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