haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm jealous of your bromance
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
