I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
