I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
