He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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