Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
