Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
