I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it was like eating out sand paper
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
