Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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