also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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