I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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