so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
