please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When did angry sex become our thing?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
