what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize