I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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