Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
