I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
